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will I or won't I?
Sep. 13th, 2021 10:30 amI'm writing this sitting in a place I don't know how to call in English waiting for my turn to have blood samples taken. I had to fast, so I just got up, got dressed and came here. I'm hungry and thirsty and I never expected there to be so many people. I thought I'd walk in, get it done and can immediately have some sparkling water and go home. I don't even have non-sparkling water with me, and I'm told I'll have to wait about half an hour. Oh well. Let me tell you what didn't let me sleep last night.
We're probably going to Prague, right? So, we sat down yesterday to buy the tickets. And we need to buy them separately. So... let's make it short: we got ticket for husband, but not for me. My ticket wanted to cost 25% more and we were not prepared for that. So, we spent some time waiting and checking again - in case the price goes down again. And then we kind of jokingly said - well, I could as well go six days earlier - which is the date we initially meant to be going on. See, initially we said we'd go to Prague and just live there a couple of weeks. Work half a day, walk around the other half. But now we're all - oh, let's travel around - which means barely any days in Prague, no "living and working" there, etc. And I love Prague. So the idea of me going there some days earlier and living and working... and also, I've been feeling that I need some independent alone time... So, it actually sounded great. Scary a bit, but "good scary". Still, we said we'd wait with the ticket another day or so. And this kept me up all night.
Was it the thought of actually going somewhere alone that persuaded me that I, in fact, don't want to? Or is it still the "good scared"? Will I have a good time or hide in my room, the way I actually quite often do? Will I be able to work or will I worry, be annoyed at myself and watch serials instead of having a good and productive time? Will I be sick and unhappy? I've been on and off sick ever since I got back home from Germany, for which reason I am sitting here waiting for blood samples to be taken. Is this, actually, crime series lingo - to take blood samples from scenes of murders, or is it also what they do when they want to check your blood for stuff?
So many questions on an empty stomach. I'm having a CT scan tomorrow. I don't expect them to find anything, but who knows. It's still kind of scary.
And I just checked: the prices have gone up again...
We're probably going to Prague, right? So, we sat down yesterday to buy the tickets. And we need to buy them separately. So... let's make it short: we got ticket for husband, but not for me. My ticket wanted to cost 25% more and we were not prepared for that. So, we spent some time waiting and checking again - in case the price goes down again. And then we kind of jokingly said - well, I could as well go six days earlier - which is the date we initially meant to be going on. See, initially we said we'd go to Prague and just live there a couple of weeks. Work half a day, walk around the other half. But now we're all - oh, let's travel around - which means barely any days in Prague, no "living and working" there, etc. And I love Prague. So the idea of me going there some days earlier and living and working... and also, I've been feeling that I need some independent alone time... So, it actually sounded great. Scary a bit, but "good scary". Still, we said we'd wait with the ticket another day or so. And this kept me up all night.
Was it the thought of actually going somewhere alone that persuaded me that I, in fact, don't want to? Or is it still the "good scared"? Will I have a good time or hide in my room, the way I actually quite often do? Will I be able to work or will I worry, be annoyed at myself and watch serials instead of having a good and productive time? Will I be sick and unhappy? I've been on and off sick ever since I got back home from Germany, for which reason I am sitting here waiting for blood samples to be taken. Is this, actually, crime series lingo - to take blood samples from scenes of murders, or is it also what they do when they want to check your blood for stuff?
So many questions on an empty stomach. I'm having a CT scan tomorrow. I don't expect them to find anything, but who knows. It's still kind of scary.
And I just checked: the prices have gone up again...
