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howsmyenglishI need to write this down for future reference. I mean, hello! I'm back from Italy (well, have been for a week or so). It was a lot of things, and I really want to write an update about the trip and the conference, but right now I need to write something else.
I am at this crossroads... right? I finished my dissertation (not the defense yet, but that is just a small last step), I need to kind of.. decide, what my new direction should be, what is the thing, the goal towards which I should be pushing. And it's so interesting that right now - again - I'm looking at the two roads: language or something else. The something else - in this case - is literature. I've been thinking about this for some days. And I think I've got it now. The understanding. It's actually what I've been doing all this time, but tapping blindly forward, without really being aware of it. Fact is that I need to combine the two and look at literature through language, through my own prism. Which is what I have been doing so far. BUT. I have been feeling like an idiot who tries to imitate other, real and good researchers. And it is just now that I'm understanding that I do not need to imitate anyone, I need to do my thing and to create my thing. I have enough knowledge and experience now to do that and not to feel like an impostor. Oh wow. I don't know for how long I'll be able to remember it, so. This needs some big and important tag. So that I'll be able to find it again easily, even if I forget to look for it. So, CAPS lock, at any rate. But what word? Any suggestions? :D
I am at this crossroads... right? I finished my dissertation (not the defense yet, but that is just a small last step), I need to kind of.. decide, what my new direction should be, what is the thing, the goal towards which I should be pushing. And it's so interesting that right now - again - I'm looking at the two roads: language or something else. The something else - in this case - is literature. I've been thinking about this for some days. And I think I've got it now. The understanding. It's actually what I've been doing all this time, but tapping blindly forward, without really being aware of it. Fact is that I need to combine the two and look at literature through language, through my own prism. Which is what I have been doing so far. BUT. I have been feeling like an idiot who tries to imitate other, real and good researchers. And it is just now that I'm understanding that I do not need to imitate anyone, I need to do my thing and to create my thing. I have enough knowledge and experience now to do that and not to feel like an impostor. Oh wow. I don't know for how long I'll be able to remember it, so. This needs some big and important tag. So that I'll be able to find it again easily, even if I forget to look for it. So, CAPS lock, at any rate. But what word? Any suggestions? :D
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Date: 2023-08-11 01:40 pm (UTC)I would disagree, it sounds to me, from everything you've posted here, that you do careful and thoughtful research! I enjoy your posts and hearing about what you do.
No idea on what you should tag it, though, maybe something about no more impostor syndrome!