![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
howsmyenglishSometimes I see someone else's entry and think: come on, you can do this too! And then I have to rush to my laptop in order not to loose the drive XD I need to do two things now: a recap of the last months, and an overview of the next two weeks. Sounds doable, right?
Recap:
After Italy (after which I did post at least something, right?), I felt extremely overwhelmed and suffered under my huge impostor syndrome, but I suffered and felt that BECAUSE I was working on it. It took time and overcoming my fears and insecurities, but I did submit my first research proposal for a HUGE fellowship program. We'll see. It was more important to me to actually do it than to get it.
The rest of the time, I was either worrying about husband's health (this is clearly not his year in this respect) or working on my defense presentation. Which is tomorrow in a week!!! For which I'm flying to Germany tomorrow night!!!
Next weeks:
- I plan to see people and places. I expect to be overwhelmed and nostalgic. But I hope to also be free and breathing;
- The defense dreams are not the ones, where I forgot to dress and came late, unprepared and to the wrong location. Instead, they're either just neutral or, like today, fun. Today I dreamed that the women from "my committee" (there are 3 of them, but I dreamed of 2) didn't care, asked extremely simple questions and were satisfied with about 5 minutes instead of 60. And the man of the committee (of which there is exactly one) came after the women left, hesitated, but then also let me pass, after which we had an intense kissing session right there and then. Hahaha. It was great. I woke up moaning XD
- I'm thinking about coloring my hair, like, midnight blue. Or violet. After the defense. As a dramatic gesture. But not with a permanent color, just something that will wash out after two weeks or so. Who knows, I might hate it.
- I am looking forward to coming home after the defense and NOT THINKING ABOUT IT EVER AGAIN. What I want to be thinking about is October, Halloween decorations and pumpkins. People. I like drawing Halloween stuff on pumpkins. But I don't like pumpkin recipes I know. Not even the cream soup. Could you share your favorites, please? I'll come back and try them out! After we've had some fun looking at the pumpkins, of course.
PS: I'm not asking how you've been, because I never left, I was reading your entries daily as usual!
Recap:
After Italy (after which I did post at least something, right?), I felt extremely overwhelmed and suffered under my huge impostor syndrome, but I suffered and felt that BECAUSE I was working on it. It took time and overcoming my fears and insecurities, but I did submit my first research proposal for a HUGE fellowship program. We'll see. It was more important to me to actually do it than to get it.
The rest of the time, I was either worrying about husband's health (this is clearly not his year in this respect) or working on my defense presentation. Which is tomorrow in a week!!! For which I'm flying to Germany tomorrow night!!!
Next weeks:
- I plan to see people and places. I expect to be overwhelmed and nostalgic. But I hope to also be free and breathing;
- The defense dreams are not the ones, where I forgot to dress and came late, unprepared and to the wrong location. Instead, they're either just neutral or, like today, fun. Today I dreamed that the women from "my committee" (there are 3 of them, but I dreamed of 2) didn't care, asked extremely simple questions and were satisfied with about 5 minutes instead of 60. And the man of the committee (of which there is exactly one) came after the women left, hesitated, but then also let me pass, after which we had an intense kissing session right there and then. Hahaha. It was great. I woke up moaning XD
- I'm thinking about coloring my hair, like, midnight blue. Or violet. After the defense. As a dramatic gesture. But not with a permanent color, just something that will wash out after two weeks or so. Who knows, I might hate it.
- I am looking forward to coming home after the defense and NOT THINKING ABOUT IT EVER AGAIN. What I want to be thinking about is October, Halloween decorations and pumpkins. People. I like drawing Halloween stuff on pumpkins. But I don't like pumpkin recipes I know. Not even the cream soup. Could you share your favorites, please? I'll come back and try them out! After we've had some fun looking at the pumpkins, of course.
PS: I'm not asking how you've been, because I never left, I was reading your entries daily as usual!
no subject
Date: 2023-10-01 03:53 pm (UTC)It was more important to me to actually do it than to get it.
That's a very relatable feeling. I hope you can get it (and if not, that at least something good comes out of it, one never knows!).
All the best for the defence, and hope everything works out in the best way possible! Keeping my fingers crossed for your husbands's health as well!! 🍀
no subject
Date: 2023-10-05 11:36 pm (UTC)Good luck with the defense, may it be as painless as possible.
This is my all-time favorite pumpkin recipe: https://www.acouplecooks.com/pumpkin-pecan-baked-steel-cut-oatmeal/ I do tend to cut the sugar in it by about 1/3-1/2, but it depends on how sweet you like your breakfasts.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-26 09:01 am (UTC)The recipe looks great! I'm not sure we have steel-cut-oats (didn't even know the name), but I'll look for them! But what is pumpkin puree? Take a piece of pumpkin and make puree out of it? Or should it be cooked?
no subject
Date: 2023-11-09 11:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-10-08 04:49 pm (UTC)And good luck for the fellowship, too!
And on a completely separate note, I hope you and your loved ones are all OK.